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    <lastmod>2023-12-05</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Now - Anxiety isn't always a bad thing.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Five Ways to Find Your Creative Flow</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
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      <image:caption>Introverts, Alcohol + Six Ways to Avoid Small Talk</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Now - From supplement skeptic to supplement convert.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Middle-Aged Battles: Acne, Weight Gain, Inflammation</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Creative Flow</image:title>
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    <loc>https://breeacox.com/small-talk</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-03-24</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Introverts, Alcohol + Small Talk - Introverts, Alcohol + Six Ways to Avoid Small Talk</image:title>
      <image:caption>As an aging writer, I had to be honest — I can’t drink like I used to and have the clarity I need to write. So, I read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace to validate my choice and give me more reasons to limit alcohol’s role in my life (which had sneakily become a bigger and bigger dependence over the years). I’ve cut back to once a week, which has helped my productivity tremendously. My last struggle with alcohol as an introvert was social events where I used alcohol to “loosen up and have more fun.” When I really got to the root of my issue, what I was afraid of was small talk. I listened to the podcast “Introvert, Dear” by Jenn Granneman, addressing ways to avoid small talk. I decided this is how I could stick to my soda water and lime in social settings where I choose not to drink. So, based on her podcast, here are six ways to skirt the small talk, which requires a little prep, but introverts are normally down with that: Have a current event you’re following that others may know about or be able to provide an opinion on. For example, “I read an article that Elon Musk wants to create cat/girl hybrids.” Or, “Elon Musk just bought $1.5 billion Bitcoin.” Then follow up with what they think about Musk, Bitcoin, etc. and why they feel that way. Ask people what their passion is. Maybe follow up with how they carve out time for their passion. What does their daily or weekly routine look like so they fit it all in? Ask how they became interested in that pursuit. Why do they love it? Honesty. Say, “Man, I really get uptight in social settings, but I’m working on it. What’s the best social navigation tip you have?” Have a did-you-know in your back pocket. “Did you know Kansas is using 41 percent wind energy, now? I didn’t think that would happen 10 years ago. What do you think energy will look like in 10 more years?” Throw out an opinion. “I’ve seen designer socks and shoes lately that go between your toes — I can’t stand things between my toes. Can you? What are some fashion trends you’ve seen lately you like or don’t like?” Dream scenarios — “Covid has me feeling cagey. If you could get out of here and live anywhere for six months where would you live?” Or “If you could study under anyone, living or dead, for six months, who would it be?” Always look for the follow-up question. Why? How come? Keep the questions more specific — Instead of “how was your weekend?” Ask, “What was the best part of your weekend?” A little preparation can help us skip the small talk, so we are less nervous and less drained by surface-level interactions.</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://breeacox.com/battling-acne-weight-gain-and-inflammation</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-03-24</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Middle-Aged Battles - Middle-Aged Battles: Acne, Weight Gain, Inflammation</image:title>
      <image:caption>I am a homeopathic skeptic. In fact, I believed it was a great waste of money, until I got desperate. I can only share anecdotal results, but, for me, these supplements and diet changes have eased my middle-aged woes and might be worth a try, if you are struggling with acne, weight gain or aches and pains. Any supplement takes about a month to work. It has to get in your system. So, try it for a month, and see if you get results. If you don’t get results in 30 days, it’s pretty safe to say it doesn’t work for you. I was hit by a Jeep while running and shattered my hand. Lo and behold, I became one of those people who felt aches with all the weather pressure changes — yes, it’s real. For me, taking two turmeric pills a day made it a non-issue. Nutrachamps on Amazon worked for me at $21.95 for 180 capsules. I am also now a proponent of probiotics. I take a prebiotic/probiotic combo, and, after 30 years of cystic, scarring acne, I finally have clear skin. I take the full dose, which is four pills a day. Probiotics also seem to help me with my metabolism, coupled with a few other changes. After about eight years of weight-cycling (yo-yo dieting), my metabolism was jacked. I could eat very little and not lose weight. I tried Noom, intermittent fasting and straight-up starving (not sustainable). What finally worked was when I started consistently eating lean protein with a healthy meal at breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus adding at least two intense 20-minute cardio bursts to my twice-a-week weight training, as recommended by my trainer. This combination seems to have finally got my waist to slim down again. Note: You can over-cardio. Who knew? Doing excessive cardio can cause you to overcompensate with extra food and actually cause your body to hold on to weight. So, strive for balance in calories and exercise. I also reduced alcohol consumption to once-a-week (usually), which likely helped all three of these things. I only put this out there because they worked for me, and I think there are so many of us desperately searching for solutions and few people offering what worked for them, without being tied to a product or diet “method.” Good luck, and I’d love to hear what worked for you!</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-05</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Yes, I'm a Pickle Expert - Are you really a pickle expert?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Yes. And here’s the best pickle. I’m not an expert at making pickles. I’m an expert at eating them. I’ve considered hanging a pickle lid around my neck, sommelier style. But, after decades of eating ALL the pickles, I qualify as expert through experience — I would challenge any one who says they’ve tried more pickles, and it would at least be a strong fight. In the vein of Cash’s “I’ve Been Everywhere:” I’ve eaten spear pickles, sliced pickles, chunk pickles, flimsy pickles, pickle chips, crispy pickles, brined pickles, sweet pickles, hot pickles, kimchi pickles, bread-and-butter pickles, gherkin pickles, kosher pickles, probiotic pickles, cornichons, Carolina Reaper pickles, mixed pickles, quick pickles, sour pickles, sweet pickles, half sours, Polish pickles, German pickles, flea market pickles, farmers’ market pickles, craft pickles, I’ve eaten lots of pickles, man. And I have a favorite: Sechler’s Candied Sweet Lemon Chunk Pickles. I started as an adamant savory-sour-dill-pickles-only person. After eating and eating and eating pickles, I slowly flipped over to the sweet-sour-balance side. You’re entitled to your opinion, but that’s mine. I also only eat pickles straight from the jar, and if I have one on a sandwich or a burger, it’s the straight-up humble Vlasic dill slice. So, for snacking, I find the roughly one-inch chunk pickles best. Spears never get crispy enough. Too thin are also flimsy. The thick slice is the right slice. Chill your pickles before eating for optimal crispiness. Overnight is best. Something Sechler’s does makes theirs super crisp. Ice bath? Brining? Sorting? Don’t care — it’s magic. They’re the best. But, really, like wine, the best pickle is the one you like, and this post is all in jest (see my Unlearning in My 40s post).</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/blackandwhite-exercise</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-04</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5edbd8edb6026b073feecde6/1617569595518-TOWF485DYI9XP3F5M1KB/Walking2.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>All-or-Nothing Exercise + Diet</image:title>
      <image:caption>All credit here to my trainer Briana Peterson for gently teaching me the concepts of moving and eating with flexibility and joy. I used to believe exercise meant getting up at 5 a.m., putting on all the right workout gear, going to the gym, killing myself sweating, then taking a complete shower, and doing full hair and makeup. If I couldn’t do all of those things, it wasn’t exercise. Also, I would skip working out altogether, if I couldn’t meet one of those criteria. Briana convinced me with a little nudging over the years to give up the all-or-nothing mentality. What if I oversleep, so an afternoon works better for exercise on a certain day? What if I’m in jeans, but I’m out with my dog, and I feel like running for a block? So what? If it feels good (and it won’t cause injury because you’re in flip-flops or something), why not? Run as far as you feel comfortable. Walk. Run some more. Who cares? What’s the worst that could happen? My clothes get a little sweaty (they wash) or someone judges me (no one cares or notices you, really, and so what if they do)? Also, maybe today is just a walking day and a podcast, but tomorrow is running to heavy metal. Let it be whatever you need that day. Also, I can do my hair and makeup, sweat quite a bit, change clothes and do a little touch up and do almost anything, short of a really formal event. Do I look perfect? Maybe not, but it’s good enough. Maybe that means I take a five-minute rinse-off before I get into bed that night, but that’s fine. Being flexible is a mindset. I also had to abandon all-or-nothing eating. Starving is not sustainable and overeating doesn't feel good either. Eating slowly, enjoying my food and recognizing when I’m pleasantly full is great and helps me lose weight. It means being mindful and eliminating all distractions when I eat. Do I really have to look at a screen while eating and to what detriment? The negative effect is on my waistline and the “work” I might be getting done is negligible. Fruits and vegetables make me feel better, along with my vitamins, but a piece of pizza is fine, too, and I really enjoy that pizza, now, when I eat it. I don’t feel deprived because pizza is “off limits,” so I don’t feel the need to eat a bunch of it, because I may not get to eat it again. I’ll eat it again soon enough. In moderation. Drinking water also makes me feel great, as does a few cups of black coffee, but a pot of coffee makes me irritable and maybe a decaf tea will do the trick instead… It’s easy to say “balance” is the key, but it’s harder to actually do. If you can start asking yourself what’s the worst thing that happens, if you are more flexible and more mindful with eating and moving, and try a few experiments, I think you’ll be happy with the results. It’s certainly made me move and eat with more joy and less stress.</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/pickle-expert</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-03-29</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5edbd8edb6026b073feecde6/1617047018255-R50996MQSAVXV4PC7LVV/neck+alignment+and+sleep.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Insomnia and Meditation - Insomnia and Meditation</image:title>
      <image:caption>I’ve had the opportunity to listen to leaders across the globe (virtually) during the pandemic, including one guy (Amin Toufani) who got his graduate degrees at Stanford and Harvard at the same time. A recurring practice most mentioned? Regular meditation. I thought I was too antsy to meditate. Too impatient. That the focus on breathing would cause me to actually have trouble breathing — cause me to panic. Like many things I’d “decided” at one point in my life, I was wrong. And, if you suffer from insomnia, but haven’t tried sleep meditation for 30 days, you should. Like every change, it takes dedication and practice to achieve. My seventh grade drama teacher has had me meditating since I took her class 30 years ago, I just didn't know it. I discovered the “Deep Sleep Meditation” practice on my Calm app. It’s the same practice my drama teacher taught me (and has worked for me for decades now). With this practice, I fall asleep (or go back to sleep if something wakes me) in 10 minutes, pretty much guaranteed. Lie in a comfortable position: On your back; neck in a neutral position, so breathing is optimized (see illustration); knees and arms slightly bent. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Be present. Let the day go. Don’t think about tomorrow. Enjoy this moment and the relaxation you deserve. You will be more effective the next day, if you can clear your mind, now. I focus just on the cool feeling at the base of my nostrils as the air goes in. I even say “in, in, in” and “out, out, out,” in my head, if I’m struggling to block out the day and focus. Feel the tension leaving your body through your extremities with each exhale. Start at your feet and tense your feet hard for five to 10 seconds. Then, relax your feet. Take several gentle breaths after you release and focus on the feeling of your feet sinking into the mattress. Think about tension running out of your toes. Take your time. Move up your muscle groups using this same procedure — calves, thighs, glutes, abs, low back, chest, upper back, arms, hands, neck, face. Then tense your whole body and relax. Focus on just the present and the pleasant feeling of deserved sleep that will refuel and replenish your body for maximum productivity the next day. Don’t be discouraged, if it doesn’t work the first time. But, if you stay with it, I bet you can master it in 30 days. It’s been my secret to sleep, when I am restless for decades, I just didn’t know it was meditation. The whole sleep meditation process is different than meditation for clarity, but, for me, starting with sleep meditation was easiest, then consider branching into morning sitting meditations. Also, if you’re over 40, don’t drink caffeine after 2 p.m. No amount of meditation can help you sleep, if you’re over-caffeinated. It’s worthwhile to read about how alcohol disrupts sleep, as well. Even though you “pass out,” it’s really a sleep disrupter. But those are two other tangents you can think about tomorrow. For now, sweet dreams.</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/unlearning-in-my-40s</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-05</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Unlearning in My 40s - Unlearning in My 40s</image:title>
      <image:caption>You have to learn before you unlearn. So, in my 20s, I learned. I learned from mentors, bosses, family, classes, my professional life, my personal life, lectures, academia, professional societies and leaders — I absorbed everything. And I came out with a lot of convictions about the world, the way it works, and the way I thought it should improve. Your 30s, my friend Kate once told me, are your god/goddess years. No longer naive, a bit of the world behind you, but not yet slowed down by age, you are confident, energetic, ready to take on the world. My convictions became even stronger, reinforced (by my biases and echo chamber). They became the mantras by which I lived my life, and other people were just wrong. But, I was also raising kids in my 30s, which began to cause some cognitive dissonance in my hard-and-fast life rules. Parenthood started unraveling my certainties. I read all the books about parenting, but my first child will never follow the rules (now, I love this about him), and I started to question myself. I started giving leniency to the way other people parented and saw they may get equal or better results than me — my way wasn’t, in fact, always best. I also had two rounds of depression (post-partum and following my dad’s death), something “I didn’t believe in.” “Just fix yourself, be happy,” were thoughts I had about depression, mainly because it hadn’t happened to me. Again, I learned things were more complicated than I knew. In my 40s, I am expanding that humility beyond parenting and depression to everything. I’ve learned I should unlearn my convictions. I once stubbornly said I would never do yoga or meditate, and, it turns out, those are both very helpful for me. I’ve learned that different styles of relationships, our political or religious beliefs, ways we cope with the death of a loved one, or the way we cope with life in general is up to the individual, and it does me no good to think my way is right and someone else is wrong. Because it’s just not that simple, and it’s not true. There is something to learn from nearly everyone (even if it’s how not to be). But you can’t learn unless you’re willing to unlearn what you thought you knew so well. We’re all just out there doing our best. We’re all human. I do think we should always be learning and unlearning throughout our life. That’s the one conviction I’ll stand by.</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/turning-off-notifications</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-09</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Turning Off Notifications - Turning Off Notifications</image:title>
      <image:caption>I thought I was in control. I allotted 15 minutes in the morning for social media and 15 minutes at night. Just because a notification pops up on Facebook or Instagram, I won’t check it. But I will, my data shows. I reduced my social media time-suck by 23 percent the first week I turned off notifications. They were, apparently, more of a pull than I was willing to admit. I don’t even think I realized I was “popping on for a sec” — which easily turns into an hour. I did this in response to The Social Dilemma, which I do recommend, if you haven’t seen it already. I knew the algorithms were designed to advertise to me, but I didn't realize they were also designed to keep me on the platform as long as possible. And, the algorithms are good — they know me better than I know myself. They do keep me on. Realize the artificial intelligence is already smarter than humans. Humans create them and ask the algorithms to produce a certain outcome, but humans can’t explain the middle part — the programs are doing making the “how that happens” on their own, and they have lots of data to assess, and they are extremely good at what they do. So, it really is man versus a machine that is smarter than we are. The algorithm doesn’t love me or want me to be productive, but the world and real-life people outside my phone benefit from my engagement a lot.</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/readingfromotherperspectives</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-04-12</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Reading From Other Perspectives - Reading Protagonists With Perspectives Outside Your Own</image:title>
      <image:caption>Reading Octavia Butler’s Wild Seed shifted my perspective forever. I’ve read important novels by Black authors that I’ve treasured and written extensive papers on, my favorite being Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man. But always with the idea of Black History, the search for and work toward Black equality, and the Black experience in America being top-of-mind. And I was always a white woman reading from the outside looking in. Never have I sat down to read straight-up fantasy and science fiction from a Black author, like Octavia Butler’s Wild Seed. Wild Seed has a strong Black woman as the protagonist, and I was that strong Black woman. I walked in her body and saw with her eyes and felt with her being. Because of the fantasy nature, I was free to relax and just be absorbed into the character. I know Butler’s work has messages about the Black experience in there, but it’s more nuanced and presented as her life as she moves through space and time. Reading Butler was so exciting and enjoyable, I began to seek to inhabit lots of characters I might have hesitated to explore before. I suppose, to some, this might seem obvious and a real white-girl revelation, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one who believed the lie that I couldn’t get into books with protagonists who weren’t like me (even though we’ve been asking people of color to get into white writers forever). I’m so glad Octavia Butler, who was a multiple recipient of both the prestigious sci-fi Hugo and Nebula awards among others, persevered to produce her legendary books for us in the 1970s. I’m also glad my friend Ellen Jones put Wild Seed in front of me and said, “Read this.” I may be naive, but I felt that the timing of reading Butler, which went along with my reassessment of how I understood the Black American experience during Black Lives Matter, ushered in a feeling of understanding. It made me think we should meet each person first as an individual with a perspective that is theirs alone, then find our commonalities, and, last, get to know to our differences. But the idea of just inhabiting each other’s experiences a little bit without an expected conclusion or outcome — just being part of their experience — feels like a new place I can grow from. I think people of color have been trying to present this distinction to me throughout my life, but I just hadn’t done enough to internalize what they were telling me. When you are growing and changing, it is hard to say what will make the message click and suddenly be something you can apply and practice easily with an understanding that comes from a deeply rooted, non-superficial place, but, for me, it was after I’d laid down some fertile soil, but it was Butler who planted the seed that would grow there.</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/scarcity-to-abundance</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-07-13</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Scarcity to Abundance</image:title>
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      <image:title>Scarcity to Abundance</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/typeb-personality-pluses</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-07-17</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5edbd8edb6026b073feecde6/1626545214528-HV7RDSAEESN3IRWH3SVR/MessyDesk.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Type-B Personality Pluses</image:title>
      <image:caption>Let’s face it – Type-A personalities are largely considered better than Type-B personalities. I mean, it’s kind of implied in the A=top grade, right? Just like extroverts are generally still considered “better than” introverts (though at least there’s more awareness about the positives of introverts, than when I was growing up, feeling like I should be a cheerleader instead of reading books alone in my room). I’m here to give a shout out to all the Type-B personalities. Not only are we half as likely to die of cardiovascular disease, we are actually just as good or better at solving large, complex problems as our uptight Type-A counterparts. In fact, though Type-A people are labeled as “driven,” there is no data that says they actually achieve more in life. In fact, being able to relax and not focus on minutia, can lead you to better, more global decisions, when considering large amounts of information from diverse places. Type-B people make great leaders because we are more able to dismiss small annoyances and focus on the good things our employees and co-workers do. We typically don’t micromanage or have control issues. Type-B folks can also deal with the mess of long-term projects and focus longer on projects, in general, because they do not get side-tracked by unnecessary tasks not important to their large goal. Type-B is also more likely to enjoy the journey and less boxed in by winning or losing. Therefore, we are more likely to meet long-term goals, because rejection doesn’t cause us to give up. We believe we’ll win eventually.  One Type-B stereotype is we don’t plan anything. I mean, I know my shortcomings, and I am a Franklin Covey devotee, scheduling my week down to 15-minute increments each day, and making daily plans at least a month out. So, I do try to compensate my weaknesses.  I think we all know there are many Type-A advantages, and I am proud of my Type-A fellows and often look up to them, but, today, I’m here to say, Type-B brethren, we’re alright. Maybe there will be a class some time on how to be a little more disorganized.</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/be-prolife</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2022-06-12</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5edbd8edb6026b073feecde6/1617569595518-TOWF485DYI9XP3F5M1KB/Walking2.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Be Pro-Life</image:title>
      <image:caption>All credit here to my trainer Briana Peterson for gently teaching me the concepts of moving and eating with flexibility and joy. I used to believe exercise meant getting up at 5 a.m., putting on all the right workout gear, going to the gym, killing myself sweating, then taking a complete shower, and doing full hair and makeup. If I couldn’t do all of those things, it wasn’t exercise. Also, I would skip working out altogether, if I couldn’t meet one of those criteria. Briana convinced me with a little nudging over the years to give up the all-or-nothing mentality. What if I oversleep, so an afternoon works better for exercise on a certain day? What if I’m in jeans, but I’m out with my dog, and I feel like running for a block? So what? If it feels good (and it won’t cause injury because you’re in flip-flops or something), why not? Run as far as you feel comfortable. Walk. Run some more. Who cares? What’s the worst that could happen? My clothes get a little sweaty (they wash) or someone judges me (no one cares or notices you, really, and so what if they do)? Also, maybe today is just a walking day and a podcast, but tomorrow is running to heavy metal. Let it be whatever you need that day. Also, I can do my hair and makeup, sweat quite a bit, change clothes and do a little touch up and do almost anything, short of a really formal event. Do I look perfect? Maybe not, but it’s good enough. Maybe that means I take a five-minute rinse-off before I get into bed that night, but that’s fine. Being flexible is a mindset. I also had to abandon all-or-nothing eating. Starving is not sustainable and overeating doesn't feel good either. Eating slowly, enjoying my food and recognizing when I’m pleasantly full is great and helps me lose weight. It means being mindful and eliminating all distractions when I eat. Do I really have to look at a screen while eating and to what detriment? The negative effect is on my waistline and the “work” I might be getting done is negligible. Fruits and vegetables make me feel better, along with my vitamins, but a piece of pizza is fine, too, and I really enjoy that pizza, now, when I eat it. I don’t feel deprived because pizza is “off limits,” so I don’t feel the need to eat a bunch of it, because I may not get to eat it again. I’ll eat it again soon enough. In moderation. Drinking water also makes me feel great, as does a few cups of black coffee, but a pot of coffee makes me irritable and maybe a decaf tea will do the trick instead… It’s easy to say “balance” is the key, but it’s harder to actually do. If you can start asking yourself what’s the worst thing that happens, if you are more flexible and more mindful with eating and moving, and try a few experiments, I think you’ll be happy with the results. It’s certainly made me move and eat with more joy and less stress.</image:caption>
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  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://breeacox.com/whitewomenhashtags</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2023-12-16</lastmod>
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