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Things that are on my mind,
besides drafting (and drafting) my novel, of course.
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Introverts, Alcohol + Six Ways to Avoid Small Talk

As an aging writer, I had to be honest — I can’t drink like I used to and have the clarity I need to write. So, I read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace to validate my choice and give me more reasons to limit alcohol’s role in my life (which had sneakily become a bigger and bigger dependence over the years). I’ve cut back to once a week, which has helped my productivity tremendously.

My last struggle with alcohol as an introvert was social events where I used alcohol to “loosen up and have more fun.” When I really got to the root of my issue, what I was afraid of was small talk. I listened to the podcast “Introvert, Dear” by Jenn Granneman, addressing ways to avoid small talk. I decided this is how I could stick to my soda water and lime in social settings where I choose not to drink.

So, based on her podcast, here are six ways to skirt the small talk, which requires a little prep, but introverts are normally down with that:

  1. Have a current event you’re following that others may know about or be able to provide an opinion on. For example, “I read an article that Elon Musk wants to create cat/girl hybrids.” Or, “Elon Musk just bought $1.5 billion Bitcoin.” Then follow up with what they think about Musk, Bitcoin, etc. and why they feel that way.

  2. Ask people what their passion is. Maybe follow up with how they carve out time for their passion. What does their daily or weekly routine look like so they fit it all in? Ask how they became interested in that pursuit. Why do they love it?

  3. Honesty. Say, “Man, I really get uptight in social settings, but I’m working on it. What’s the best social navigation tip you have?”

  4. Have a did-you-know in your back pocket. “Did you know Kansas is using 41 percent wind energy, now? I didn’t think that would happen 10 years ago. What do you think energy will look like in 10 more years?”

  5. Throw out an opinion. “I’ve seen designer socks and shoes lately that go between your toes — I can’t stand things between my toes. Can you? What are some fashion trends you’ve seen lately you like or don’t like?”

  6. Dream scenarios — “Covid has me feeling cagey. If you could get out of here and live anywhere for six months where would you live?” Or “If you could study under anyone, living or dead, for six months, who would it be?”

Always look for the follow-up question. Why? How come? Keep the questions more specific — Instead of “how was your weekend?” Ask, “What was the best part of your weekend?”

A little preparation can help us skip the small talk, so we are less nervous and less drained by surface-level interactions.

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